Cat Wars: The Battle for El Queso

Cat Wars Battle For El Queso pic

“Snack time!” says the Supreme Leader.

“I sense a disturbance in the Force,” says Darth Feline, rising up from his seat on the living room couch. The whiskers of the fearsome calico twitch as he sniffs the air. “Hmmmm … cheese … yummy.”

Darth Feline hops from the couch and dashes toward the kitchen. There, he finds the Supreme Leader making a phone call.

“Let’s re-schedule next week, Mom,” says she, her tall legs nearly tripping over her house pet.

“Meow!” hollers Darth Feline, barely avoiding her foot to his mouth.

“Oh, sorry, Darth!” says the Supreme Leader, reaching down and petting him behind his ears.

Darth Feline enjoys a brief consolation rub, and then the Overlord exits the kitchen.

Alone, the calico sighs. He leaps onto a chair and peers over the tabletop. Unfortunately, he is not alone. His rival, Luke Mousy, stands proudly on a chunk of cheese.

“Paws off, Jedi!” Darth Feline hisses. “I won’t fall for another one of your mind tricks!”

“Of course you will, you always do,” says Luke Mousy, scooping a piece of cheese and popping it into his mouth. “How can you resist? I stand for truth, justice … and delicious morsels!”

“In that case, maybe I’ll enjoy two tasty treats today,” says Darth Feline, drawing his red lightsaber, peering closely at the house mouse. “Fine, let’s do things your way … the hard way.”

”Isn’t there a cheesy way?” says Luke Mousy, drawing his green lightsaber. “I’d love to do it that way!”

“Not for you, squeaky thief!” says Darth Feline, swinging.

Luke Mousy flips off of the chunk of cheese and lands on the tabletop. He slices off one of Darth Feline’s whiskers.

“Ahhhh!” hollers Darth Feline, falling off the chair onto the floor.

The feisty cat and mouse embark on an epic rumble, sending themselves and kitchen appliances to all corners of the galaxy.

At last, Luke Mousy retreats to his rebel base, a hole in the wall. Before he disappears into the darkness, he hears a scream. He turns to see the Supreme Leader looming over Darth Feline, scolding him with a pointy finger.

“What happened in here?” she shouts. “This place is a mess! Why can’t I ever leave you alone with food?”

Darth Feline raises his paws helplessly.

“Meow,” he says.

Luke Mousy grins as he licks a crumb of cheese from his claws.

He loves getting Darth Feline in trouble.

Lightning Ghost

ghost lightning

Once there were two girls, Rose and Lilly, looking for their mysterious friend, Roelill, who they often encountered as they hiked through the hills behind their backyard.

As they searched high and low on the trail, they encountered Mr. Man, who was walking his dog.

“Have you seen our friend?” said Lilly. “She calls herself Roelill.”

“No, I haven’t, and neither have you,” said Mr. Man. “She is an old relative of mine, and she died a century ago.”

“What?” said Rose. “That’s impossible! We see her up in these hills all the time …”

“I’ll tell you the story,” said Mr. Man.

“Thanks,” said the girls.

“In her time, Roelill was the best hiker around,” said Mr. Man. “She even finished the Appalachian Trail.”

“Wow,” said Lilly.

“A  ghost appeared and gave her the power of lightning,” said Mr. Man. “That way she could always blaze her own trail. But Roelill wasn’t sure how to use such power, so the first time she tried to make lightning strike, she rose her hand in the air … and struck herself.”

“Yikes!” said Rose.

“That’s the legend, anyway,” said Mr. Man. “Somehow, Roelill died. She was my great aunt, and I never had a chance to meet her.”

“Well, we have,” said Lilly. “She’s really nice.”

“I think she’s lonely, too,” said Rose. “She seems to really like our company.”

“She’s a ghost now, hey?” said Mr. Man with a wink. “Be careful.”

He disappeared down the trail with his dog.

The girls continued their hike.

Soon, Roelill appeared before them.

“We’ve been looking for you!” said the girls.

“I’ve been looking for you, too,” said Roelill.

She raised her hand, and Rose and Lilly were struck by lightning.

Their bodies fell to the ground, but their spirits remained standing next to her.

“Who’s next?” said Roelill.

Rose and Lilly glanced at each other.

Roelill pulled out a list.

“Oh, I see,” said Roehill with a grin. “It’s … (YOUR NAME HERE).”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grimhilde Lives

Dragon Witch

As long as Autumn could remember, she feared witches, and none captured her imagination more than Grimhilde, the creepy old lady with dark eyes and long nose featured in the classic Disney film, Snow White.

When Autumn was five, she visited Disneyland and rode an attraction, Snow White’s Scary Adventures, where she first encountered Grimhilde.

For weeks after the ride, Autumn refused to enter a bathroom or closet or any dark space alone, fearing a witch might lurk in the corner. Autumn’s anxiety over Grimhilde took such hold over her that her mother, Lauren, needed to remind Autumn regularly it was all make-believe.

“There are no witches in the world,” Lauren said, “just little girls with active imaginations.”

Autumn wasn’t convinced, however, and only with the distraction of friends and fun that came from kindergarten did she manage to put aside her fear, at least for a while.

On a fine summer day after finishing kindergarten, Autumn returned to Disneyland. In the year since her last visit to the “Happiest Place on Earth,” she had grown taller, able to ride the park’s roller coasters.

Autumn rode Space Mountain for the first time, thrilled by its speed, loops and turns. After making rounds on other big kid rides, she decided to return to Snow White’s Scary Adventures, ready to confront Grimhilde.

Arriving at the attraction, Autumn clasped her mother’s hand and waited in line for her turn to board the carriage that would bring her face-to-face with the witch. Finally, she stepped into the carriage and curled up next to her mother; the safety bar clamped down on them firmly.

The carriage lurched forward, and Autumn and her mother approached two large doors that swung open. After passing a pleasant, pink room occupied by the Seven Dwarves, the carriage made its way through a mine shaft, littered with glistening green gems, and finally entered a castle through a dark corridor.

The corridor led to a room.

There, Autumn spotted the Evil Queen, who faced the Magic Mirror. Through the mirror’s reflection, Autumn saw the Evil Queen’s stern face, pointy crown and purple robe.

“Magic Mirror on the wall,” the Evil Queen said, “through this disguise … I will fool them all!”

The Evil Queen turned toward Autumn, arms outstretched, transformed into Grimhilde.

“Ahhhhhhhh!” Autumn screamed.

From the witch’s mouth, fire spewed and flames licked Autumn’s face. Autumn clung to her mother, eyes shut, ready to feel her cheeks burn.

But she felt nothing, except fear; then, suddenly, the carriage stopped.

“That’s strange,” Lauren said. “There must be some technical difficulty … I’m sure we’ll be moving again soon.”

Lauren nudged her daughter.

“It’s okay, Autumn,” she said. “Look up.”

Autumn peeked and noticed the witch’s eyes peering into hers, but no flames licked Autumn’s face; that was just her imagination. In fact, the creature that loomed before Autumn was frozen.

“It’s not alive,” Lauren said. “It’s just a machine, see? On standby. There’s nothing to be afraid of, my dear.”

“You were right, Mom!” Autumn said. “Witches are not real!”

Autumn again clung to her mother, this time out of joy. After she hugged Lauren, the ride continued, and so did Autumn’s life.

As the little girl returned to Disneyland from time to time, eventually as a woman with a family of her own, she realized she preferred Space Mountain over Snow White’s Scary Adventures.

Although Autumn knew Grimhilde was not real, witches still frightened her more than roller coasters.